Thursday, June 16, 2016

Kenya figures out why aliens anal probe humans.

Hello ice,

The ten ton is acting up again.  It is our fault, our night staff didn't know or forgot to come in and so the machine froze up.  I tried fixing it, running the water through the machine to make sure we don't have any build up of ice.  I checked the oil levels in the condenser, felt it up to determine what needs to be hot is hot and what needs to be cool is cool.  Still no ice as it runs through it's cycle.  Time to call the oscar.

It must suck to be mayor when they dress you up like an old guy in a track suit.  

Did you know the road to zika Rio goes through Edmonton at Foote Field the most confusing track field to get to?  Don Iverson, our mayor is giving the event a boast by dressing up like a track star that slouches.  If you haven't seen a world class track meet I highly recommend you come see the Greek god like athletes with their perfect bodies. If that don't sway you let me tell you there are attractive men and women competing in the event.  the eye candy alone for both sexes makes it a worthwhile weekend.

In Kenya they are allowed to use anal probes to determine if men are gay finally answering the question about what Aliens are doing when they kidnap and anal probe us.  I wonder how that job ad looks.  Need someone with experience examining male butts to see if men are gay.  Seems to me the perfect person for the job would be a gay person.  Being gay in this world would be difficult.  All these straight folk all mad, willing to kill and examine butts trying to stop the gay even though it is the straight folk who keep popping out them kids who happen to be gay.  Gay folk in general don't have children so the only one to blame for gay is the straight.  As far as this iceman is concerned straight men in particular should be happy when our fellow man is gay as it increases the straight's odds of the straight finding a partner.  The whole fear of the gay is the dumbest thing in the world.

ISIS has a list of a 151 Canadians they want to kill.  I thought they wanted to kill us all but apparently only 151 Canadians win the ISIS lottery...

Did you hear the NDP is going to try to update the education curriculum in six years even though the election cycle is ~ every 4 years?  We all talk about diversification and trying to make our economy in Alberta more stable, less reliant on oil.  If we really meant that beyond the bullshit lip service promises from bobblehead dolls in suits then make coding a core subject in all Alberta schools.  Trust me when I say in ten years we will have a strong, growing tech industry.

That is all that this frostbitten brain has to say today.  Thanks for listening ice.

Master Iceman 

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