Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Nobody likes talking about mental illness.

Nobody who has frostbite on the brain likes to talk about it.  Doing so can wear out friendships, family isn't always understanding, often people give simplistic answers to what tends to be very complicated and then they get mad or act fed up that it didn't work.  I don't have answers.  Feeling the world too much and for too long is a mofo.  I will offer perspective...

Sensitive people can often become overwhelmed with emotions.  The wave of emotion combined with personal insecurity, low self esteem can change how you see the world.  It causes you to misread most situations, often leading u to assume the worst, creating all this anxiety, fear, self loathing until either ur fears r confirmed or u r wrong, everything is fine, the world does not end, anxiety is replaced by relief, at least until the next time she doesn't say goodbye with the perfect tone, changes plans, doesn't say something sweet back.  Over and over again emotionally ur relationships become overwhelming as u can't relax.  Instead of living life in the moment there is the voice in your head always making h anxious that u r going to mess things up.  Without intending to, you look for reassurance because u can't make that leap to believing the signs.  Nothing women hate more than having to reassure men.  Nothing makes u less attractive.  

If ur experience is somewhat like this then you still have a ways to go in the battle with self and perspective.  It isn't an impossible journey. You need to surround yourself with good friends who care about you. Stay on track in terms of what u want to achieve in school, career, work etc.  Do small positive things for yourself, achievable goals.  Give it time, understand when it comes to love u r more likely to fail than succeed these days.  Timing is so important.  U can meet amazing people but not be in the same place.  Love can end for a million and one reasons.  U can obsess, look for answers in the tea leaves, drive urself mad, or you can take a moment, reflect, learn, and then turn the channel.  One person's view of u does not define ur self worth.  U can try to make mismatched puzzle pieces match all u want but they ain't going to match.

Energizer bunny, that is who you have to be.  You got to keep going because Miley becomes Pip, Polly, Dolly until you find your match.  Secret to life is keep going. Breath, sleep, eat, work, have fun, etc.  There is no pause.  You are going to be wrong, fail a dozen more times, sometimes in embarrassing ways.  Trust me when I say all of us have moments in our life that when we reflect on we want to scream as how stupid we were.  If there is comfort in knowing love, romance, the dream of family drives many of us to act less than perfect, to take it personal, feel it more deeply, making it hard to snap out of it then take comfort in numbers.  All u can do in life is learn, forgive urself for being stupid, look forward and keep going.  

Master Iceman


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