Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Living wage ends the practice of tipping.

My wife works in the restaurant business.  She makes minimum wage plus tips.  Even though she brings home more than 15 an hour with tips the government would put her wage at our current minimum wage in Alberta which is currently below the 15 an hour so called living wage.   If what we hear in the media is to be believed those in the restaurant industry are going to have trouble affording the increase in wages.  Logically you would surmise the easy answer would be just to increase prices however this could cause your restaurant to out price it's target demographic leading to a loss of sales.  The counter argument is everyone else will have to raise there prices and thus the target demographic will return as the grass is not always greener elsewhere.

The less obvious choice is to include the tips everyone gets from kitchen staff to the wait staff as part of their hourly wage.  You are suppose to include your tips in your yearly taxes yet employers do not get the benefit of being able to say with tips our workers are making more than 15 an hour.  Thus the only solution for those restaurant owners who do not want to raise their prices is to hard wire tips into the bill and include them in worker's paychecks.  Meaning someone like my wife who was making 12 an hour plus 8 an hour in tips would be seen as making 20.00 an hour.  The restaurant does not have to raise it's prices as the change to tips being hardwired into the bill more accurately reflects what people are paid.

To those who argue that tips are a variable that changes I say hogwash.  We are Canadian and non-confrontational by nature.  Even when food and service sucks we leave a tip to avoid having to deal with the consequence of not tipping or complaining about food/service.  In many ways we are taught to leave a bad review, or shame on social media instead of directly talking to someone.  On the flip side those who want tips to motivate them to work hard get a good life lesson.  Most jobs in life have the expectation you will work hard for a fair wage.  Not getting a handout at the end is part of life and not an excuse to give less excellence in service.  There are other ways to keep people motivated than 5.00 at the end of a meal which ends up being 2.00 after you tip out kitchen staff.  With the new living wage reality coming to Alberta, restaurant owners don't really have a choice as people won't always pay more.

On a personal level this brings me to shaved ice and how much am I going to pay people to bring the cool to the people of Alberta.   You might think I would pay a student whatever the current minimum wage to work.  I really want to have all the wages I pay at 15 an hours ahead of it having to be 15 an hour as I believe by giving employees a better wage you get better workers as they can afford to eat.  By eating you get the energy you need to work hard.  There is also an element of pride that comes from getting paid a living wage.  Instead of seeing all your money go to rent, you have enough to enjoy a movie with friends, thus living a more enjoyable life.  Shaved ice requires happy people to make it as it is one of those bright, colorful and fun winter treats on a hot summer's day.  If you haven't contributed to my shaved ice crowdsourcing campaign or even heard of it you better hurry.  Don't miss your chance to be a part of the erniebcools story.  Click here to go to ATB BoostR and help keep Alberta COOL!!!

Master Iceman

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Nobody in Edmonton knows what Hawaiian Shaved Ice is.

bring the cool to Alberta
Shaved ice, Hawaiian shaved ice, blank stairs is what you get from most folk I have talked to in Alberta, mostly Edmonton.  How do you describe without experiencing the power of ice giving our favorite flavors and textures an added kick of coolness.  CBC writes about sausage, salami, some sort of luncheon meat but not shaved ice cause they don't know what shaved ice is.  It is snow you can make into a snowball which unlike snow cones holds the flavor of the syrups you poor on top.  A snow cone the fun is in the bottom.  Shaved ice the bottom can be ice cream, fruit, candy and even sweet beans.. don't ask. My wife is Filipino and I will never understand her pallet.  People come from different places in the world and like different flavors.  Shaved ice is universal except in Canada where their use to be more snow than sun.

I know one of the former owners of Polar Ice before Arctic bought the company.  He can't work in the ice industry but is a good guy.  Big, strong, hard worker and genuinely wants his clients to succeed.  I wanted to see if he would be interested to contributing to my shaved ice campaign as Hawaiian shaved ice does not compete with Arctic.  Nope, the has not heard of shaved ice as in the ice cream wrapped in a blanket of snowball snow drizzled in sweetness.  I want to say fish markets use shaved ice and thus he likely would of gotten calls about it when he was in the industry.  Sadly the dessert, the winter treat on a hot summers day which works with liquor is named poorly.  The good name was stolen from snow cones which uses crushed ice.


Just go to my shaved ice crowdsourcing campaign.  If Dave Mowat the CEO of ATB wants to help make Alberta cooler so should you.  If the beer as in the beer festivals wants the shaved ice then isn't it a good idea for you to follow suit.  Go to ATB BoostR's and contribute to erniebcools now.. The beer has spoken!!!

The Master Iceman

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Beer has spoken and it wants shaved ice

Crowdsourcing is about the story of a group of people coming together to build or create something new.  In our case at Columbia Ice, the new is a shaved ice concession cart, aka ice cream wrapped in a blanket of snow drizzled in sweetness.  Originally I had hoped to get the festivals that make our city great to contribute to erniebcools.  I wanted to use their contribution as an introduction to how much these events and festivals do for our city.  We live in a time when festival costs are going up and the not-for-profits behind them need more support from our city council.  Pleading with the city has not worked, at least based on news stories I have read so I figured a nice, positive story about festivals coming together to build a small alberta business might apply pressure through a positive story.

Sadly xmas is not a good time to try to communicate with a lot of festivals.   Really not a good time to run a crowdsourcing campaign as Santa is far more exciting than shaved ice.  Even those you get a hold of are so stressed over money it is hard to get them to be open to an outside the box idea like crowdsourcing a shaved ice cart even though they get more than the cost of the reward in shaved ice.  Just like love is about timing and circumstance, so too is crowdsourcing so my grand idea of having festivals build erniebcools in the winter is bad timing.  I had to do my crowdsourcing campaign in the winter so I have time to build the shaved ice concession cart.  

In life there are always exceptions to every rule... and the example is the good folk behind the Alberta Beer Festivals(ABF) in Edmonton, Calgary and Banff.   ABF also puts on two fantastic Octoberfests which make a pretty boring month a little more fun.  When I sent an email to Trevor at ABF he went onto ATB BoostR and pre-bought 120.00 worth of ice for a 100.00.  Just for supporting our crowdsourcing campaign Alberta Beer Festivals come out ahead and get to be a part of job creation in Edmonton.  That is pretty awesome if you ask me which would make sense if you have ever met the ABF agents who are pretty awesome people.  Next time you get a chance to enjoy a beer festival or octoberfest in Alberta know the money you spend is going to people who show their affection to the great province of Alberta through the action of helping others succeed like Columbia Ice and erniebcools.  

The Master Iceman

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

How war in the middle east affects Edmonton Festivals.

Laughable at first thought to think western imperialism in the middle east would have consequences at home here in Edmonton at festivals we love.  Every large grouping of people, from festivals to sporting events has had to increase the amount they spend on security as all the wrong person needs is a smartphone to attract the right type of disenchanted individual.  Born from media carefully put together using the extreme images, words and ideologies to give hope to one who has none.  In God's name kill and you shall be rewarded with whatever.. My response would be no, I am going to hell, more ice sales, however when I was younger and looked to religion, I can understand how desperation makes bad men out of moral.  It is hard to find meaning in a world that is so confusing.  For those who do not fit, don't have that one connection the voices of the shadows can be strong in making seemingly intelligent people stupid.  

Those who run Heritage days, Taste of Edmonton, Fringe and others all have to worry about every person with a bag, bottle of water, truck I guess now.  This means taking all reasonable precautions which starts with more police onsite.  Ask our Police Chief and he will tell you it is expensive putting cops on the street.  Someone has to pay for it and from what I can tell reading the news is there is not enough money for cops as is.  If festivals need security then they will have to pay for it themselves even though the reason festivals need more security is no fault of their own.  It is a different world when a truck and a gas pedal become death's tool.  What is a festival to do?  What happens when it is no longer financially viable to run a Heritage days or Taste of Edmonton?  Where is the money going to come from to make up the difference between what is brought in and what goes out?

Price of most stuff at festivals is already pretty high.  Vendors don't get rich and the not for profit behind the scenes can only ask for so much.   Logically the city would have a budget for events, festivals and the like.  Some of this money is used to help support local, born in Edmonton, come to expect year after year, part of the fabric of the city festivals we become quite attached to and then the oddball events like Red Bull Crashed Ice, Triathlon festival... which actually sounds fun.  You drink for the half a day a triathlon takes.  The real competition really is how many allycat golds can you drink from the gun to the first finisher.  The issue that the people behind the born in Edmonton events have is essentially how much of the pie is going to the out of town, one time events like that extreme biking event last summer.  It just does not make sense in any meaningful way to take a habitat away from ducks and geese, making it into a pool and then back to a habitat.  Some want a beach showing once again how wrong the way we see the world has become to nature.  Instead of learning to peacefully co-exist we take over more of there territory.  I loved watching geese at hawrelak park.  I loved walking across the bridge with my dogs to a really awesome dog park.

The notion you could use volunteers to manage the traffic at heritage days is asinine.  You want to see the best of edmonton, then see how fast, how efficient the EPS and ETS work together to get everyone out of the park fast and safe.  I want a cop with a gun at the entrance to Hawrelak park not a volunteer.  Nobody in Germany thought in my country, like nobody in France, or anywhere else in the west where stupid happened.  Terrorism shatters this reality we are safe and secure.  Smart folk, the lucky or crazy few who take on dealing with the crazy musicians, small business owners, people of every nationality and even a crazy iceman or two to put on Blues, Rock Fest, Interstellar along with the big fish Heritage Days and Taste of Edmonton would be devastated if anything happened at their festivals.  This is Alberta where we think ahead, plan for the unexpected and that includes more real cops in plain clothes and uniform. Someone has to pay for this.  It is only reasonable that some would come from all parties involved.

The city of Edmonton needs to be more of an active partner in covering the increase security costs.  If this means investing less money in bringing to Edmonton the one time are nice but can't even remember the name events, so be it.  I know the crazy few we elect to run our city want to make a name for themselves.  Photo ops, being able to say I brought yada, yada, yada to Edmonton being important for reelection.  Make a name for yourself by having not for profits praise you instead of ask suppliers to cut prices pushing out the small business owner, leaving the same, boring, big brand crap that is already shoved down our throats.

Master Iceman
Checkout my crowdsourcing campaign

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I am running a crowdsourcing campaign to bring shaved ice to Alberta.

I get bored and so upon occasion I google.  When I google I find something like shaved ice which if we had here at Edmonton Festivals would increase ice sales.  I could wait for someone else to do it but to often people who want the local community to support them do not support the local community back by supporting local business.  I have seen that happen enough to know that if I really wanted to increase ice sales I would have to bring shaved ice, ice cream wrapped in a blanket of flavored snow to Edmonton myself.  The only problem is I do not have the funds to build a shaved ice concession cart so I went on ATB BoostR and now I am crowdsourcing the shave ice cart.

So far in a week and 3 days I have raised over a 1000.00.  Kind of scary actually thinking about being successful... With friends, family and colleagues contributing to shaved ice I have a responsibility to deliver... I am also a little excited because shaved ice allows for creativity in that you can create whatever variations you can imagine.

If you happen to be a stranger, do not know me and want to be part of the erniebcools story  Any help would be most appreciated.

Stay COOL!

The Iceman

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Tzeporah Berman gives oil sands advisory board legitimacy.

Unlike Brian Jean of the Wildrose and Jason Kenny of the Progressive Conservatives, I appreciate different perspectives on the oil advisory board in Alberta.  There are a great deal of Canadians who care a whole lot about the environment and do believe unfettered capitalism is reckless without taking into account the effect that capitalism will have on the environment.  We only have one world and if we don't practice better stewardship than we won't even have that.  Pipelines sound great but for many of us there is a moment of pause needed to consider the long-term environmental consequences of pipelines.  Too often mankind has a habit of doing first and then realizing later there were adverse consequences.

Jason Kenny and Brian Jean in their single-minded focus on job creation are acting as if climate change is a myth that we do not need to deal with and thus they do not speak to people like me who are leaning to supporting pipelines if and only if environmental issues are taken into account.  For an oil advisory board to seem legitimate and garner my support, a person like Tzeporah Berman is needed.  If the PC's were in power, based on Alberta's history, I would expect an oil advisory board to be full of oil execs.  People who champion oil, enviromental issues be dammed.  Having a contrarian opinion gives me comfort as I know the large group of Canadians who are fighting for greener Canada will have a voice.  This contrary voice will counter the oil, oil, oil enviroment be dammed voice that those who share ideological leanings of a Brian Jean or Jason Kenny seem to have.  Call Tzeporah a check and balance giving our enviroment a voice.  I don't have to agree with her but I know she will at least stand up for mother nature even in the face criticism from those who need everyone to think and act alike.  I like the fact that some of the NDP would logically not be a 100% behind pipelines because not all Albertans or Canadians are a 100% behind pipelines.  Different perspectives provide a check and balance.

I don't want to live in a Canada where everyone thinks, acts, talk and looks alike.  I love our diversity of religion, races, cultures and perspectives.  It is only through the converging of diffferent opinions we find common ground in the middle as we seem to have in regards to pipelines.  Yes, we have a carbon tax to push industry to be greener but the reward is economic investment in the creation of pipelines giving us better access to markets who give us a better price on oil.  The only reason Justin Trudeau and Rachel Notely were able to achieve the possibility of pipelines was because they represented the diverse perspectives of all Canadians.  When it comes to pipelines you need the people on the fence to show support.  Those who are for pipelines are already on board and represented in Alberta.  Those who have felt their voice muzzled, opinions dimissed, on the side of the enviroment, have never felt like they were represented in govt committees around oil, need the contrarian.  For this group of Canadians, growing larger and larger in numbers daily as the effects of Global Warming become more obvious an enviroment champion is needed to get pipelines built without screwing mother nature in the process.  Take Tzeporah off the oil advisory board and that group who cares about the enviroment, will see the board as just another tool for the oil industry to push their agenda through.

So please, before you regurgitate what talking bobbleheads in suits say ask yourself if you are the target demographic  Notely and Trudeau have to get off the fence about pipelines onto the side of  those who support pipelines if they are to get built. A big reason Harper and previous PC gov'ts failed to garner support for their pipelines is they muzzled or simply did not give a voice to those who believed differently.  Thus in Alberta and Canada if you want pipelines then you want Tzeporah Berman on the oil advisory board of Alberta.  If you are against pipelines like Jason Kenny or Brian Jean keep asking for Tzeporah to resign because if she does resign then the oil advisory board becomes nothing more than a machivellian govt run board giving the illusion they care about the enviroment allianating those on the fence about pipelines.

The Iceman

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Edmonton baker uses packaged ice in bread making.

When you think of Edmonton and Ice do you think bread?  I certainly would of never of considered ice a vital ingredient when it comes to making bread and pastries.  Of course, I didn't know they used ice to make concrete harder till I started working at Columbia Ice.  I shouldn't be surprised they use ice in the wonderful world of baking.  I am not entirely sure why some bakeries use packaged ice in their processes but from what I can tell by googling there are two reasons.

Edmonton ice for Edmonton bread
The first is ice cold water is used to slow the fermentation process allowing some sort of acids to work, giving the bread more flavor.  The second is when dealing with lard in pie crusts you don't want the lard to melt.  According to Ernie, this gives the crust good flakiness.  I have never actually attempted to make pie crust, a pie or even bread so I will take his word on it.

Learning Edmonton ice is used in baking is one thing, trying to find the right type of bakery is another when it comes to trying to sell ice.  As an iceman working at an Edmonton ice company looking for new clients, you want to find the high volume baker that uses enough ice to make a delivery worthwhile and doesn't have an ice machine.  Sadly this has not been easy as the bakeries I have contacted in the past either have an ice maker or don't make the right types of breads, pie crusts and/or pizza crust where they need ice.

But I am alive and lots of people are not alive. I have a home and don't have to worry about bombs being dropped on it.  I have dogs that don't try to eat me.... so I am feeling optimistic.  I am going to write this snazzy blog post.  Some Edmonton baker will read the post, call 780-960-7161 and say SANDRA I need ice to make the bread flavorful. I need ice to make flaky crusts on pie,  I need ice, someone hit me over the head with a bat... might of been the Master Iceman of Columbia Ice trying to increase ice sales...

Thank you for listening ice.. most nice of you..

Master Iceman

Friday, July 15, 2016

Every time in rains there is an iceman crying.

Being an iceman in Alberta can be depressing.  You turn on the news, read a digital paper and everyone is talking about global warming.  The one business which is global warming friendly should be ice.  As the world warms more people need to cool themselves with ice cold water or beer.  Not in yeg aka Edmonton or Calgary where the rain keeps on falling.  I am not exactly sure where this rain comes from as we live in the prairies.  the rain does not stay long.  It will be plus 25, sunny, a beautiful day and then bam the rain hits.   With rain comes the cancellation of events, people do not go camping and ice sales drop, drop, drop.  This makes me cry.  

First it was the low price of oil meaning no worker ice and now unpredictable weather killing ice sales.   Maybe I need to get into the umbrella business.  At Columbia Ice we make ice to keep beer cold and umbrellas to keep you dry.  If only I could pay workers 10 cents an hour like they do at sweatshops where umbrellas are made. 

Would you like a job making umbrellas for 10 cents an hour?  Hahaha.. this is a joke btw.  I wouldn't actually pay anyone 10 cents.  I pay a living wage even for students who are mostly useless.  

They call me... I call me

the master iceman.

Get off your mobile phone and get to work

Even though you tell employees to get off their phone in the ice factory, you almost have to be a tyrant to get them to listen.  Whether it be addiction or just not caring about the dangers around them young folk have no idea how unemployable they are with their phones on them.  I probably have to lock phones up if I want people to respect the condition of no phones on the ice floor.  I promise you those I see on the phone won't be back next year.  If I tell you something once, twice and on the third time mental note, does not listen to instructions, will not get another summer job with us.

I was so gunhoe this year, going to prove everybody wrong, students can work hard.. I was wrong, students for the most part our nearly completely useless.  You can't send them to do a job if you expect it to be done right.  Instead you will get the least amount of work possible or what I call lip service work.  A student will not go above and beyond as they take no pride in their work.  My mechanic said he could hire a student, get the student to sweep the floor, but he would have to go after the student to sweep the floor correctly.  The other day I had a student sweep the back area.  There was a piece of wood that needed to be moved to get the sawdust under it's edge.  Student sweeps around the wood, does not move it.

When I have to find something for a student to do the question goes through my mind what can this student do that is right?

Absolutely nothing..

Next year it will be different.  I am going to see a lawyer and each student will have to sign a phone waver stating that if they are injured or hurt in my warehouse while on their phone the company is not liable, nor is WCB.  Furthermore I, the employer can sue the student for being on the phone in the warehouse when they were explicitly told not to be on the phone.  It probably isn't legal to do this..

I guess the asshole will come out next year where I simply fire people for being on the phone.

Mobile phones make young people dangerous and nearly useless.  I won't hire students again.  Tired of stupid, can't listen to instructions, don't know how to work with any purpose, lulligag around like a piece of waste flesh.

Master Iceman

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Yellowpages is a paid directory and thus no longer useful to me.

I am not a fan of yellowpages.  Ernie the owner had used them when we started this journey of building an ice company and when I took over plant manager I told them to cancel everything.  I found their web development team yellowpages 360 to be incompetent, often telling me stuff like you don't need google webmasters tools or a schema, contradicting what experts online were saying.  When I asked for changes to be done they ignored what I spend hours mocking up and did their own thing.  When it came to transferring our URL to their services something I can do they wanted us to change our URL in search. The rep I had ignored every email I sent.   They didn't even keep a record of the interactions I had with them and required us to have/en at the end of our url aka  This is Alberta where we only need to have an English website.  We are not in Ontario or Quebec where you would need two versions..  Learn to program better and you wouldn't have to add extra letters to a URL.  Needless to say when the new rep tried to talk me into staying I refused to meet with her.  I hate sales people because they waste my time when my mind is already made up.

The other day while relaxing at home I get a call from some number I didn't know.  I answered because it may have been someone calling for ice.  It was the new ypg rep.  She is calling to see how we are doing without yellowpages.  Fantastic, wonderful, could not of been better was my answer.  She wanted to sell us a smaller package so we would still show up in ypg's directory when people search it for "ice Edmonton."  My response was if I fill out the free profile ypg offers shouldn't I show up in your directly results when people search ice Edmonton?  Her replay was only if I purchased ads essentially admitting the directory results were useless when people searched them, the only relevant results were if someone had paid to advertise on the keywords searched.  They are in business to make money and so they are not giving away search results for free was her reply to my dislike of paying to show up in search.  That is where anything else she said became irrelevant.

I hate paid search and ads as they do not give me the most relevant data.  Google has ads but they still have organic search results which gives people like me easy access to companies and businesses that fit my search intentions.  It is because of getting relevant search results I keep coming back to google. and upon occasion click their ads. The very reason I do not use yellowpages and find it to be dodo bird in disguise is because the times I have searched for something in their directly I have no gotten accurate results. I don't click ads on a good day as I don't trust them.  I don't trust paid search or directories to provide me with the most relevant data.  YPG should be in the business of making money as they are a business, however when you make businesses pay to have their website show up when people search "ice Edmonton" you make your directory less useful to consumers.  They don't care about ads and a lot will never click an advertisement.  They just want the most relevant businesses showing up for the search ice Edmonton.  If you don't give that to people outside an advertisement they will stop trusting your platform as I did ypg's.
Ice Edmonton and no ice companies

I didn't want to write this blog post as I had moved past my anger towards ypg... but if they are going to waste my time not listening to the firm no I gave them, then I am going to waste another half hour talking about why my answer will always be no to yellowpages.  Although I am not a fan of extinction, I would be if the animal going extinct was yellowpages.

The Master Iceman

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Edmonton fans already turning on Adam Larsson

In fairness it is only the Oiler fans and media folk alike on my twitter feed who is panning the trade of Taylor Hall for Adam Larsson.  It is ashame because this city has a long history of running dmen out of town who aren't instantly what the fans expect them to be.  Since Larsson got traded for Hall, Larsson needs to be an obvious number one dman on the Oilers for the fans to embrace the guy.  If Larsson struggles watch out people... the fans will turn on him.

Was listening to some guy talk about the missing or murdered indigenous women on the radio.  He talked about how the government was talking to aboriginal folk about the best way to handle things.  This confused me just like the fact nobody was prosecuted during the residential school fiasco.  It is obvious what needed to be done with residential schools just as it is obvious what needs to be done with all those missing or murdered women.  Find the people who did the crime, throw them in jail and toss away the key.  Justice is what any sane human wants.  Sadly when it comes to aboriginal people dealing with what is a highly discriminatory system, justice is the last thing our government cares about because how many RCMP, social workers, govt workers would be found out to be negligent, disinterested and down right racist when it comes to dealing with the first Canadians?  The treatment of aboriginal folk in Canada is embarrassing and our indifference to it as a society makes us all a bunch of racist pricks just as guilty as those who openly discriminate about indigenous people like our government does.

It is Canada day, the busiest weekend of the year usually for ice.  I am not going to get a day off this weekend.  That is ok I don't get days off till the snow hits the ground.  It is the life of an iceman.  Busy when it is hot and not so busy when it is cold.

That is all I got on the brain today as I wait for my driver to return from his deliveries.

Master Iceman

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Brexit, Global warming, Ramadan and pipelines

Listen to any talk show in Alberta on the radio, bring up pipelines and just watch the calls come in from people all angry that so and so isn't doing enough to make pipelines happen.  Then you read an article on the CBC about why pipelines fail in Canada and quickly realize that oil companies and their pipelines are their own worst enemy.  You read an article like that and it is hard to trust oil companies know what they are doing when it comes to pipelines.  When it is hard to trust the people building the pipelines, or the govt regulators who always seem to be in big oil's pocket to make sure things are done right, new pipelines will be next to impossible to get people to agree to build.

The American Humane Society is investigating the death of 5 bison killed during a shoot for a movie in Alberta.  Begs the question why does the American Humane Society care about Bison killed in Alberta and not anyone in Alberta?  If you got to kill animals to make a movie you are a smuck who deserves to be flogged.

Had an employee who practiced Ramadan.  Near the end of one day dehydration reared it's ugly head and the normally very good driver backed one company truck into another.  Having delivered ice for years I can tell you that it is not safe to go from sun up to sun down without water while working in the sun.  This employee no longer works for us for other reasons however it does leave me with the question can I hire someone who does not drink water in the summer months for a month?   When eating and drinking normally the guy was a really good worker, however during his fasting time the guy was dangerous at the end of the day when dehydration set in.

Oilers didn't make a trade at the draft.  Feel like I am only an oilers fan for the trades that don't happen right now.  not like you can watch the hockey and be entertained.  Can't watch any hockey these days unless you like no goals.  Gary Bettman and the NHLPA need to give their head a shake if they think the world cup of hockey can fix the brutal entertainment value of most hockey games.

The world is ending, Britain is leaving the EU.  The usual oh no we have to redo a ton of trade deals so life as we know it will never be the same.  Did you get up and go to work?  I did so maybe the world will end tomorrow.

Master Iceman

Monday, June 20, 2016

Canada should allow people to carry guns.

A retired Greater Toronto area police officer on the Roy Green show on our Tea Party station 630Ched thinks everyone should have a gun.  Then when some dude struggling with his sexuality starts shooting up a gay club people can start shooting back.  Personally if I am a gay guy trynig to get my gay on I would rather the bulge in buddies pants is not a gun.  If guns were easy to get I might of shot my employee for driving our reefer without noticing the temperature gauge rising after the check engin light went on costing us 20+ thousand dollars to rebuild the engine.  I might of shot my mechanic went he told or even myself for putting a young person behind the wheel of key infrastructure for our company.   I think it is best for all parties involved that we don't make Canada like America where you can get a gun at walmart.

Golden State Warriors now join the Patriots as two teams to dominate in the regular season only to lose in the finals.  Lebron and Jordan are the greatest players I have ever seen play basketball... I still pick Jordan at GOAT because with the game on the line, last second shot you would take Jordan every time over Lebron.  

I almost got to go to Porkapalooza this year.  I drove around the stadium looking for parking, not knowing if Porkapalooza was a stadium event.  Seems odd the city wouldn't open up commonwealth and LRT parking for the event.  Ended up going to Beer Revolutions where I got an Education in blondes from Old's College.

Waffle House CEO bored with waffles tried his maid only to have her try to extort millions from him by creating a sex tape.   This is why I do not cheat.  A few minutes of fun that will cost you lots and lots of money later on if you are married that is.  Look at Tiger Woods and how much his affairs cost him.  

Thanks for listening,

Master Iceman

Friday, June 17, 2016

No hands distracted driving on the Anthony Henday

Dear ice,

Attractive young lady drives with no hands while texting on the Anthony Henday.  Distracted driving kills more people than drunk drivers.  Young lady is not so attractive when she plays Russian Roulette with people's lives.  Young lady is not alone as we all think the text, tweet, email, call is more important than our lives and those around us.  We are a very selfish people when it comes to needing the phone fix.  Addicts with little care for those around us.

Pope says most Catholic marriages are invalid as people don't grasp the concept of ever after.  I can't help but wonder who looks to a man who has never been married for marriage advice.  Speaking of the Pope, he has Okd the use of birth control in areas hit by Zika... makes you wonder how many lives would of been saved had the pope done the same thing in Africa with the HIV virus.

Why do creationists keep calling evolution a theory if they don't believe in evolution?  A theory is an hypothesis that has never been disproven.  When you call evolution a theory you are saying evolution is an hypothesis that has been tested over and over and over again and never been disproven.  Gravity is a theory.  Wonder if creationists believe in that.

I gave my driver keys for the locks on the ice merchandisers.  He took the keys and ice to porkapalooza.  What my dear driver did not take was the ice merchandisers and lock.  Pipe said 1/2 inch but does not fit a 1/2 john guest fitting.  I want to cry...

Thanks for listening my dear friend ice.

Master Iceman

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Kenya figures out why aliens anal probe humans.

Hello ice,

The ten ton is acting up again.  It is our fault, our night staff didn't know or forgot to come in and so the machine froze up.  I tried fixing it, running the water through the machine to make sure we don't have any build up of ice.  I checked the oil levels in the condenser, felt it up to determine what needs to be hot is hot and what needs to be cool is cool.  Still no ice as it runs through it's cycle.  Time to call the oscar.

It must suck to be mayor when they dress you up like an old guy in a track suit.  

Did you know the road to zika Rio goes through Edmonton at Foote Field the most confusing track field to get to?  Don Iverson, our mayor is giving the event a boast by dressing up like a track star that slouches.  If you haven't seen a world class track meet I highly recommend you come see the Greek god like athletes with their perfect bodies. If that don't sway you let me tell you there are attractive men and women competing in the event.  the eye candy alone for both sexes makes it a worthwhile weekend.

In Kenya they are allowed to use anal probes to determine if men are gay finally answering the question about what Aliens are doing when they kidnap and anal probe us.  I wonder how that job ad looks.  Need someone with experience examining male butts to see if men are gay.  Seems to me the perfect person for the job would be a gay person.  Being gay in this world would be difficult.  All these straight folk all mad, willing to kill and examine butts trying to stop the gay even though it is the straight folk who keep popping out them kids who happen to be gay.  Gay folk in general don't have children so the only one to blame for gay is the straight.  As far as this iceman is concerned straight men in particular should be happy when our fellow man is gay as it increases the straight's odds of the straight finding a partner.  The whole fear of the gay is the dumbest thing in the world.

ISIS has a list of a 151 Canadians they want to kill.  I thought they wanted to kill us all but apparently only 151 Canadians win the ISIS lottery...

Did you hear the NDP is going to try to update the education curriculum in six years even though the election cycle is ~ every 4 years?  We all talk about diversification and trying to make our economy in Alberta more stable, less reliant on oil.  If we really meant that beyond the bullshit lip service promises from bobblehead dolls in suits then make coding a core subject in all Alberta schools.  Trust me when I say in ten years we will have a strong, growing tech industry.

That is all that this frostbitten brain has to say today.  Thanks for listening ice.

Master Iceman 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

dropping an iphone can lead to broken elbow

Dear ice,

Making me feel better for hurting my hip bowling is Darren McFadden of the Cowboys.  Survives football season but breaks elbow trying to catch his iPhone. Get a rubber case dude, or go to an Apple Store, they will replace it for free.   

Cenovus the oil company that wants in our classroom in Alberta and tries to be everyone's best friend has started a project to help save the endangered caribou it and other oil companies helped make emdangered.  At the same time as Cenovus tries to save the caribou, ConocoPhillips spills oil on endangered caribou land through a pipeline leak.  I tell you oil companies are their own worst enemy when it comes to pipelines.  

My dog is chases its tail.  Is that normal?

I don't mind my employees when they don't hover like dogs waiting for me to tell them what to do.  Make yourself busy, move with a purpose.  Stay out of my personal space.  If I hear you breathing you are too close. Only animals allowed that close are my dogs and cat.   

CBC has run out of news stories as they are reporting Edmonton is not on the top of the list in terms of tourist destinations this year.  Begs the question when was Edmonton on the top of the list?  When you are looking for places to vacay who googles flights to Edmonton?

In case you weren't already sick of hearing about schools and politicians, the NDP is looking at changing the curriculum.  Start with the washrooms and finish with the textbooks.  

Thanks for listening,

Master Iceman

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Another Tuesday in the day in the life of an iceman

Dear ice,

I always like Tuesday because when I get home there will be new releases on my telus on demand.  My wife does not like Tuesday for the same reason... I spend money on telus on demand.  I try to explain it would cost more going to a movie but she doesn't seem to hear me.

I bet the agriculture financial service board does not like Tuesday as they all woke up no longer members of the board having enjoyed too much booze and golf on the taxpayers dime.  I should be mad but at least they spent taxpayer money on something I would spend money on, not something silly like anther committee.

The weather is nicer today although there is rain on the forecast.  Still not the nice dry heat we love in the ice industry.  Nothing says hello concrete ice sales like heat, heat and more heat.   Sure I like to relax but after relaxing all winter I want it to be super, duper busy.  

Today I get to unfreeze my ice  makers because my evening staff decided not to come in last night.  Machines kept making ice not knowing to shut off.  One thing lead to another and frozen ice makers and augers is what you get.  I am stalling right now because I don't want to deal with it.  I have paperwork I can do.. yes I will do paperwork and deal with frozen ice makers later.

Stay Cool,

Master Iceman

Monday, June 13, 2016

Porkapalooza, singing firefighters and terrorism aimed at gay folk.

Dear ice,

Did you hear about the singing firefighters who sung their way to Edmonton and then back home after a dispute over pay?  Maybe next time do less singing and more reading of the fine print.

You got to feel sorry for gay folk this weekend.  Just when you start to feel like the world is accepting non-traditional sexual preferences some yahoo gets a gun and kills a whole bunch of gay folk in Orlando.  The excuse given was the guy saw two guys being affectionate in front of his family.  Just when you take a step forward Mr. Backwards fills you full of lead.  I guess to some being remembered in digital ink as a mass killer is better than two dudes kissing.

Penguins won the cup, not that anyone in Canada really cares.  Hockey might be our sport but the best hockey teams are in America where they get little fanfare.  The worst teams are in Canada where we sell out for losers regularly.  Speaking of being a happy loser the Edmonton Oilers are happy to lose the lottery.  Number one picks are not all they are McDavid to be.  A lot of times GM's end up picking the best player who isn't necessarily the best fit for the team.

Porkapalooza is coming to town... or maybe has always been here but coming out of hibernation.  Makes me hungry just thinking about it.  If I didn't have a fear of lines and large groups of people I might go.  I still might go because pork, bbq sauce and heat puts my stomach in the mood.

Thanks for listening ice.

Master Iceman

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Justin Trudeau is a good man for taking a day off to celebrate his marriage to his wife.

There is a group of people in Canada who do nothing else but try to point out the flaws in everything Justin Trudeau.  The most recent flaw is him taking his anniversary off to spend with his wife while in Japan.  One lady on twitter wrote that he has only been on the job for 7 months and does not deserve a vacation even though last weekend in the rain half of alberta tried to have a vacation.  Apparently it is ok for the rest of the world to take a day or two off but not our prime minister.  

I am not sure when taking a day to spend with your family is a vacation and not just a day off.  I am sure that as a husband I admire seeing our leader make his wife a priority in a world when so many of us do not make family enough of a priority.  Just because a person becomes prime minister does not mean that person stops being a parent or in this case a husband.  Part of the challenge in working time consuming jobs that don't end at 5pm or on Friday is making time for your family.  Since when does being a good man make you a bad prime minister?  

Sadly this has become the reality of leading Canada where the loudest want Trudeau to pay for everything out of pocket, get no extra help raising his kids because he is away all the time on Canada business or give his wife help dealing with all the requests she gets.  In Canada the opposition would rather Trudeau live like a peasant, his wife show up to events with dried puke on her dress, hair disheveled and the only time they get alone together is when Justin comes home late at night. 

I don't know if Justin Trudeau is a good prime minister.  Often there are many external factors beyond a leaders control which will determine how history will view him.  What I do know is that by saying I am taking a day to spend with the women I love, Justin is a good man and husband.  I would argue that makes him a better leader of Canada as having a stable and positive home life can only help Justin lead in a very unstable world.  

If being a good husband makes all the conservative and new democrats angry then they really need to reexamine those so called family values they talk about whenever it comes to anything gay.  I suppose the good news is if all these anti-Justin folk are obsessed with him being a good husband then it means Canada must be doing pretty good as their is nothing of substance to complain about.  

The Iceman

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Dating advice from the Master Iceman of Columbia Ice

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, failing each time and trying again expecting a different result.  Thus according to this definition the act of dating is an act of insanity.  Thus the entire world, not just the iceman is a tad insane.  Glad we got that out of the way, now lets move on to dating advice from the Iceman.

Today I want to talk about how long a first date or meet and greet should be.  I will start by exclaiming never make a first date longer than an hour or two!  Recently, Bob my fictitious character I use for my examples went on a date to this pie shop with a young lady he had a crush on.  The next day with hearts in his eyes Bob mentioned they closed the cafe like he was in some Hollywood movie.  I wanted to smack the hearts out of his head but unfortunately in Alberta, labor law does not allow me to flog my employees.  Life ain't no movie, people have things to do and nobody has five hours to talk to someone else.  The days of talking till late in the night ended in high school.  If the conversation is good then by ending things early she will look forward to talking to you again.  By talking for five hours she now has to worry about having something to do later or an excuse to get out of the date if things tend to the forever mark on the alarm clock.

With women less is more.  Instead of giving her a whole cake to eat so she is sick of cake by the end you want to give her a small slice.  Something that will linger on her lips and leave her wishing for more.  The whole Romeo and Juliet, rocket ship ride love story is something best saved for movies and not real life as love that burns that brightly, that quick burns out.  I would argue it isn't even love but instead infatuation and lust as real love is a slow walk.  It is something that happens after two people have been together over a long period of time and been through a few road bumps along the way.  Love must be like this as life is full of hidden potholes that demand a strong bond between two people that can only form with time in order to overcome any bump in the road.  Furthermore there is no need to rush love and ever after as ever after means you will in theory unless you get hit by a bus have time to spend with this person.  This means relax, spend an hour or two, go off and build your own life.  Let her do the same.  Then the next time you see each other you both will be genuinely excited to see each other..

Dating advice... from the

Master Iceman.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

I hired a Muslim man who hasn't tried to kill me.

I hired a Muslim man who hasn't tried to kill me.  I want to ask trump followers how can this be, you all act like being Muslim means killing non-Muslims.  Could it be that most Muslims like we see at superstore have no interested in killing anyone?  That Muslims in general have as much in common with ISIS as we do the idiot parents who beat their kid to death for wanting to leave an extreme sec of Christianity? 

Crazy talk I know.  Never make the Facebook feed.  A Muslim, likely a billion or so who have no interesting in killing... Snooze alert, who wants to read a story about Muslims not wanting to kill Christians, atheists or as I like to call them agnostics in denial as nobody speaks to zombies.  I made that joke to the Muslim man I hired and he didn't try to kill me.  It isn't that the majority is silent, it is they are too boring to make it before our eyes.  Scandal, sex, devastation and gore get the most clicks which is why reporters seek out the worst of us to define the world outside of us by.  

Master Iceman

Thursday, May 19, 2016

I don't care about Trudeau and his stupid elbow

The idiocy of politics is that you all don't have an app to vote on bills so stupid parliament games don't ducktape those we elect to seats in some house I don't care to ever see.  I don't even care if Justin Trudeau threw an elbow.  Nothing more annoying than talking bobblehead dolls in suits saying nothing.  What is the point other than trying to shame another while rejoicing in their flaws pretending you are better.  Drive me batty, the frostbite would get agitated, voices would start to speak...

The weather forecast called for a flurry as my arms started flaying forward.  38 years of hockey for breakfast, lunch and dinner had taught me one recourse to stupid... I grab the suit jacket over the fellow mp's head, feeding him shots to the head...and u all want to talk about an elbow. Lucky they don't elect this master iceman.

Shit up, get to work and talk about crap that matters.  Don't waste our taxpayer money crying about an arm that may of been an elbow.  

Master Iceman

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Nobody likes talking about mental illness.

Nobody who has frostbite on the brain likes to talk about it.  Doing so can wear out friendships, family isn't always understanding, often people give simplistic answers to what tends to be very complicated and then they get mad or act fed up that it didn't work.  I don't have answers.  Feeling the world too much and for too long is a mofo.  I will offer perspective...

Sensitive people can often become overwhelmed with emotions.  The wave of emotion combined with personal insecurity, low self esteem can change how you see the world.  It causes you to misread most situations, often leading u to assume the worst, creating all this anxiety, fear, self loathing until either ur fears r confirmed or u r wrong, everything is fine, the world does not end, anxiety is replaced by relief, at least until the next time she doesn't say goodbye with the perfect tone, changes plans, doesn't say something sweet back.  Over and over again emotionally ur relationships become overwhelming as u can't relax.  Instead of living life in the moment there is the voice in your head always making h anxious that u r going to mess things up.  Without intending to, you look for reassurance because u can't make that leap to believing the signs.  Nothing women hate more than having to reassure men.  Nothing makes u less attractive.  

If ur experience is somewhat like this then you still have a ways to go in the battle with self and perspective.  It isn't an impossible journey. You need to surround yourself with good friends who care about you. Stay on track in terms of what u want to achieve in school, career, work etc.  Do small positive things for yourself, achievable goals.  Give it time, understand when it comes to love u r more likely to fail than succeed these days.  Timing is so important.  U can meet amazing people but not be in the same place.  Love can end for a million and one reasons.  U can obsess, look for answers in the tea leaves, drive urself mad, or you can take a moment, reflect, learn, and then turn the channel.  One person's view of u does not define ur self worth.  U can try to make mismatched puzzle pieces match all u want but they ain't going to match.

Energizer bunny, that is who you have to be.  You got to keep going because Miley becomes Pip, Polly, Dolly until you find your match.  Secret to life is keep going. Breath, sleep, eat, work, have fun, etc.  There is no pause.  You are going to be wrong, fail a dozen more times, sometimes in embarrassing ways.  Trust me when I say all of us have moments in our life that when we reflect on we want to scream as how stupid we were.  If there is comfort in knowing love, romance, the dream of family drives many of us to act less than perfect, to take it personal, feel it more deeply, making it hard to snap out of it then take comfort in numbers.  All u can do in life is learn, forgive urself for being stupid, look forward and keep going.  

Master Iceman


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Sophie Trudeau, and the stupidity of politics

I had to google to findout how many staffers Michelle Obama has.  22-24 depending on what website you go to.  It made me laugh because it highlighted the absurdity of the federal conservatives and NDP expecting the prime minister's wife to only have one assistant as if a first lady is just like every other Canadian which is also absurd.  Being a first lady is a life changing event.  Gone are the days of anonymity and being able to live a life without security all the time.  Anyone who says it isn't a full time job needs to put their head in a blender.  Life as Sophie Trudeau changed forever the moment Justin got elected Prime Minister of Canada.

Unlike Harper or his wife, magazines, news shows, talk shows, you name it want Justin and/or Sophie on them as the two have become minor celebrities.  Sophie for example has numerous requests for speeches, fundraisers and other valid causes she wants to support.  Living in a social media powered world if Canada wants to look good then Sophie needs someone to manage her digital image, help her with speeches and to sort through the different causes to pick the ones that best suit her.  Sorry to all the people who say regular Canadians don't get assistants, but nobody watches your every move with cameras.  Nobody is trying to get you to say something politically incorrect.  Nobody wants you to speak at fundraisers or other events. It is an asinine argument, one that any decent reporter with half a brain would of jumped all over if getting clicks and sensationalism wasn't the name of the game in reporting.

Michelle Obama makes America look good.  When she goes on TV, does talk shows or speaks it usually is a very positive image created of the first lady who is representing all Americans.  Personally I have always admired the first lady for how she gets out there and adds her personality to the world.  You never hear Americans complaining about her assistants because she is actively out there trying to make America better.  Their is no you must survive on peanuts yet look like a million dollars.  You better believe in Canada if Sophie Trudeau looked like a mother of 3 kids who has been answering calls all day, a little disheveled, the same yahoos who are up in arms now would be up in arms about how a prime ministers wife needs to look perfect at all times.

It is just bs political pettiness, where politicians instead of working on stuff that matters focus on their attention on itty bitty little things that affect nobody yet make conservatives or NDP in theory look good.  The very kind of stuff that makes me so very cynical towards politics in Canada.

The Master Iceman

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Role of the swamper at Columbia Ice

In the summer I hire a driver and because I am nice I hire a swamper to save my ice delivery driver's legs.  It is the climbing up and down the back of the truck to get the ice, fighting the effects of that darn gravity which tire a student out.  The swamper at Columbia Ice does the following:

1.  Help load the truck in the morning.  This means getting up on the truck and spinning pallets with the help of the driver, getting our ice delivery truck rutabaga, ready to hit the road.  Labor law in Alberta says I can only ask you to lift 40 pounds at a time and pulling a fully loaded pallet across ridged floor on the reefer when you spin requires more than 40 pounds of force.  This means you check your DNA that says I must do it alone at the door.  

2. Make sure the truck has water and ice.  Sanitize the water cooler every time you plan on opening the lid.  Soak for ten minutes in sanitizer for ten minutes, rinse with hot water.

3. Verifying the driver has the invoice book, both have wallets and delivery list from driver which you are responsible for.

3.  Fill in the blanks of the delivery list which is kept on a clipboard in the truck.  You will have to hand these in at the end of each day.   

4.  Pass ice to the driver from the back of the truck and then closing the back of the reefer to keep the cold in.

5.  Open sleeve of ice for the driver using a safe knife.  Swamper should be there holding the sleeve waiting for the driver to load the freezer.  

6.  When the driver says how many bags, you go fill in the blanks in the invoice book, while the driver cleans area up.  You meet driver in parking lot, hand book to driver, and you put cart on back, tidy up any garbage.  You must and I mean verify the back door of the truck is closed.  

7.  The swamper is responsible for keeping the back and front of truck tidy.  That means no garbage, no drinks, ice or debris anywhere on the truck.  

8.  At the end of the day the swamper helps the driver unload any ice left over, sweep the truck, clean the front, is a witness to the end of day drop.  Two people on a pallet jack for full pallets.  

9.  Assist others in end of day cleaning or bagger cleaning.  You leave when everybody but I leave.  Your job is done when their job is done so pitch in.   

10.  Help with navigation and be supportive emotionally with the driver.  A cab forward with a sail called a tall box feels the wind often pushing you to one side or another a foot at a time.  It bounces on bumps and you can easily shift a load on a turn or accelerator. I have driven rutabaga for five years and it still stresses me out.  I don't care if you like each other, I care that you make it home safe, with ice delivered and truck in one piece.  I put your safety first.  This means you don't start arguments or conversations that stress out the nut job behind the wheel:). Oh yes it is certainly possible an ice delivery driver could have a bad day where you make it worse and end up trying to go under the high level bridge giving the ice deliver truck a sunroof.  It is also possible that a bad day can be averted by a swamper smart enough to realize their life depends on the person behind the wheel being focused on driving.

Good luck, the rest, well you will learn as you go.

Master Iceman

Friday, March 25, 2016

I don't like war because I am cheap

In Factories, big companies make missiles, bombs and all sorts of WMD.  They take those weapons of mass destruction and fly them over to where ever the latest war is.  Attach them to planes or drones, both extremely expensive to build.  After which the WMD is used to blow up perfectly good buildings which we  likely get 10 cents on the dollar on rebuilding the perfectly good buildings we blew up, only to blow them up again in the next war.  I say 10 cents on the dollar because it seems like most of the money you send to these places to rebuild goes missing.  Actually it is kind of like living in Alberta under the PC rule where we kept making all this money and ended up with nothing to show from it.  

We make WMD.
We blow up WMD
We blow up perfectly good buildings.
We rebuild buildings.
We make WMD
We blow up WMD
We blow up perfectly good buildings...

A never ending story... 

I am cheap, I don't like war. 


Thursday, March 24, 2016

ISIS kills us, we kill them, they kill us, we kill them, a story that never ends.

I am tired of ISIS dominating the headlines.  
I am tired of the lets carpet bomb, blood hungry people. 
 I am tired of having to deal with the Frankenstein the west creates with it's imperialistic ventures.  
In Africa they have been slaughtering each other for years without bringing that battle to us so what is different in the middle east?  
Cheap oil because god forbid we use our own oil eh Quebec? 
Exporters of oil still import cheaper middle eastern oil.
Nobody wants to look deeply, try to understand why we keep creating people whose hate for us in the west is so deep.  
Nobody wants to acknowledge our role in the creation of these terrorists groups.  
Nobody wants to deal with the reality that every time we go to war against terrorism we are creating more terrorists in the process.  
I cringe at the stupid that will judge all Muslims by the actions of the few.
The same people who would say don't judge us by the extremes in Christianity.
All religions it seems say their god is good just before going off to kill those who believe differently. 
People are judged by the religious texts they read even though what matters is how you interpret those texts.
Minority extreme perspectives become the paint brush for the silent majority.  
We define whole groups of people based on the worst of those groups seen on TV.
I am cynical in that I believe war continues to happen because it is good business...
for some on both sides.
Has any company that makes WMD ever stood up and said war is bad,
when war is actually very good for business.  
Military is a HUGE socialist element nobody thinks is a socialist element like universal healthcare.
I am tired of bobble head dolls in suits promising change when we keep repeating the same 
actions that came before.  
I am tired of religions claiming they are about forgiveness when 
countries define society as very much an eye for your whole family.  
We kill them, they kill us, it never ends, around and around we go.
None of us speak to zombies yet we act like we know what we cannot know.
We hope so much our beliefs are true that we will kill those who do not agree with us.
Extremist is for the weak minded who look for simple answers in a complicated world.  
Extremism is for the stupid who can't think for themselves.
I give up caring anymore.. kill each other.. get on with it.
Put it on TV so the mob can get the rush of blood, hate and vengeance.  
Broadcast the death totals from the war...
our death totals.
The deaths of those who call the middle east home does not matter because they are all bad people, right?.
Bad people deserve to die even though bad is a perspective of whoever has the biggest weapons. 
Cover each other with blood.
Create heroes of men and women who kill men and women,
even though war is when talking bobble heads have failed miserably to do their jobs.  
Any idiot can go to war, takes a leader to find a way to peace.
ISIS will go away eventfully and then reborn as a new monster.
This monster will justify spending billions on taking lives instead of saving them.  
I am tired... so very tired of stupid ruining a truly amazing world.  
All your religious folk who just want to kill each other get an island,
leave the rest of the world to enjoy life while you fight over who is right in their guess 
about what happens next.  

Monday, February 22, 2016

What if equalization payments were paid in Alberta crude oil?

Quebec will always be like the contrary wife who makes you want to scream but makes good soup so all is forgiven at the end of the day.  Not really sure why anyone cares what a mayor says as in terms of power a mayor has none in Canada's political system.  There is too many questions when it comes to pipelines.  Too many agendas.  Too many things I don't understand.

can you say pipelines are safer than trains?

are trains not good enough?

is there more greenhouse gases using a pipeline or a train?

does it have nothing to do with pipelines and is really about the way oil is mined and then the energy is extracted to power everything?

why can't pipelines be made safe?  this is the one I understand the least because it seems like a resounding yes.  If I was an oil company I would make video after video showing how they would respond to any spill or break in the pipe.  How they would know instantly and be able to have a response team on site within 8 hours.  Have remote options to reducing oil leaks like a fire alarm that sets off the sprinkler system.  Show how DCS and SCADA systems work or whatever way they have to monitor such things.  Hire the best engineers, technicians, environmentalists to make sure things are done in a way that respects nature.

It isn't Alberta's oil.  I don't see it like those who call in to 630 ched because I am a Canadian first.  Being a Canadian guarantees all of us a base quality of life.   It is Canada's oil as in some way it benefits all of us, even the Mayor of Montreal when we make money from mining and selling our oil resources on the world market.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Oilers need to play goon hockey when it comes to McDavid.

Ottawa Senators, a few minutes left, game well in hand and the dman gives McDavid an extra shot after the dman tripped McDavid.  I waited for gloves to fly and players to go nuts which is the only acceptable reaction to someone take even the tiniest of liberties with your best player.   Goons existed to create space for the best players on the ice.  Kassian is a goon at heart who can skate and play a little hockey.  I would like to think Kassian or Nurse would of lost their collective marbles.  Game is 6-2 and you don't drop the gloves.  Are you kidding me?  You all know nothing about intimidation.  Getting suspending, taking an instigator penalty, putting an ice pack on your fits because it hurts your knuckles breaking the fools nose.  There is an element of crazy that is needed, an unpredictability, a fear that needs to creep through the league that if you breath on mcdavid with foul breath someone on the Oilers is going to lose their minds on your best players.  No forgiveness, no star spared, from dman to goalies to forwards touch McJesus and you will spend the night with ice on your face.

I get how Yakupov much feel not getting a chance to play with McDavid.  The thing I don't get is how often he does not engage the other team physically an element of his game which helped his forcheck.  He looks afraid to get hurt.  Draisailt could crush people with his speed in weight.  When he gets man strength he will put people in hospitals.  

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

A stampede in Calgary stops Edmonton Festival from getting ice.

Babs and Ed
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the lightness of a yellow summer's dress caressing your manly body all the while you walk down the street doing the Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dumb Diddy Do.  Smiling and shaking your thang for every working man you walk past is what you tell your diary so it must be true.  The shocked looks a beard, wig, and dress get is worth price of admission.  Most days they would know you as Ed, the quiet pipeline worker who is playing swamper in a concrete truck until the price of oil bounces back up.  Bored with the repetition required to survive in life you take a sick day to dress all up like a beautiful woman and go for a walk.  Most people give a visual WTF, laugh and ask for a selfie.  Yes there are idiots but occasionally you get digits which you never text.  Being in the closet just makes straight men more comfortable and less likely to beat you up for wearing lace under your work overalls on a hot summers day.  Men base their social hierarchy on notches in belt.  Even you have a few made up ones to keep ridicule at bay.  As exciting as hearing stupid is you need regular time away from men to enjoy a little female company.  

Today is that day as the sun is shining, you are rocking a hot, light, yellow, summers dress 
and ready to hit one of those festivals at Hawrelak Park with Pip your bff.  She don't care that you are unsure of your sexuality, instead teases you that if you are gay you would have to trust men when you are a man and know what men are like.   Around her in drag you are free to be yourself away from societies expectations of what a man should be.  Before going, Pip who has a large following on Instagram sends out a image of you looking all hot and sexy.   The picture goes viral and a flash mob of men in drag doing the Cadillac ranch breaks out when you the special guest arrives at the festival with lots of food and dance to take the lead.   When done sweating enough to make your mascara run you quickly make a beeline for the nearest tent looking for some ice cold water.

What time is the game?  A guy in a dress shouts to another as you push through the crowd.

Six, another guy yells back just as there is a loud bang as an engine misfires.

BILL what time is the game?

Nobody hears the what time is the game part as it is drummed out by what Aretha Franklin would sound like if you traded estrogen for testosterone and added a beard.

Six,  you bellow in perfect rhythm making it sound like you are starting a bill 6 

Everyone stops, not a noise is made, nothing is moving, not even a mouse.

Sonny take my glasses and my teeth an old man speaks as he appears from the crowd.

Tell mamma we are having NDP for dinner.    

Blinking through sweat burning your eyes with eyeliner
which has joined the board meeting with mascara in your eyes.
You can't believe this is happening as some blind
80 year old man looking like the emperor in Star Wars heads in your direction.
Stumbling blindly you head for the kiddie pool you thought you saw
in front of some tent to the right when you could see.
Now you had to use your nose and let meatballs guide your steps
Looking back through the tears, the old man is gaining
as if nobody told him he was old and suppose to be slow.
Breaking out into a dress hindered shuffle you trust your nose
to guide your giant size 15 feet.
Why you take one more glace back you will never know
as your brain goes splat against your scull which has gone
splat into the stomach of a giant beautiful Swedish
god of a man with a thud.
Wobbling, out cold on your feat, just before the pool you an excellent target
for the old man who lowers his should and slams you into the pool, finishing you off by 
holding your head under water and feeding you shots to head as you struggle to breath.
Lucky for you the giant swede takes pity,
pulls the old man off you, points him the opposite direction
and says he went that way.
Like a wind up robot the old man starts chasing another man
with a beard in a dress.
Looking up butterflies and hearts dance around the swede
until you notice his Swedish hockey jersey.

dude why no ice? you ask looking at the tub with water, and bottled water.

Swede grabs his phone, plays with it a little before handing it to you.

Cows, yes cows have gone on a stampede in protest of bill 6 which doesn't provide safe working conditions for cows.  Too often cows are sold for slaughter, milked too often or not enough and in even get tipped in their sleep.  The cows have had enough and are blocking the road between Edmonton and Calgary.  You do a google search on cows stampede in protest of bill 6, click news.  Google shows a dozen stories from real news sources along with a few suspect blogs.  Twitter is a frenzy of pictures, videos, and meme after meme.  

Ice comes from Calgary your beautiful swede speaks.

Smiling you google ice delivery Edmonton, press the call button on the Columbia Ice selection that says call.   Owner of the company Sandra answers and you ask her to send bob with all the ice he can carry to the Park.  Handing the phone back to the swede you smile.  He just looks at you with no emotion at all.  Once again your DNA, the romantic in your genes got your hopes up that someone would love your bearded self in a wig.  It has crossed your mind that you do not have very good gaydar.  If you don't have gaydar does that mean you are straight?  

Pip choking on a Swedish meatball starts pointing and grunting towards where the old man had gone.  Looking over you see men in dresses taking the produce most were using to replicate female top parts out and putting it in one of those reusable bags.  Pip is reading out some guys twitter feed getting live updates.

Ahhhh you scream as you first hear, then feel and finally see to confirm there is a Bob, the very cute iceman from Pip's wedding dumping the contents of big bags of ice which surprisingly is ice into the large drink tub you are occupying.  There is a smash as Bob does a thumps the ice on some cardboard and then a thump on the other side to break the ice up.  Even more impressive to you is how Bob rips open the bag in a savage fashion.  You cannot breath as this manly, manly caveman continues to lower the temperature of the pool while making you feel warm and fuzzy all over.  Bob says nothing, just keeps on smiling and filling what space there is left in the pool with lovely, beautiful ice.  

Hi Bob...Pip says causing bob to look up, let a big bag of ice go hitting the pip of a girl right in the chest sending her stumbling in the arms of Fred the only man allowed in Hawrelak Park with a dog as he is a seeing eye person for blind dogs.  Bob follows the ice toss by slipping on some ice and ending up in the kiddie pool with you.

Edmonton festival, dancing, food and a burly iceman in a pool holding one of those pizza delivery wireless debit machines handing it to the swede who ruins your perfect date, stealing your iceman and then tossing your wet self from his kiddie pool.

Bob not missing a beat or staying to talk to pip and fred fights the mob of food vendors trying to get ice to get to his truck beaten by someone wearing a festival staff shirt begging them to bring ice by the trailer load fast.  Just another day in festival city you tell Pip later over coffee and cognac. 

... these are the tales of bob and pip.. a fictitious love story to highlight the different ice services offered by Columbia Ice, an Edmonton Ice Company.

If you are running a Edmonton and area festival like heritage days, folk festival, blues, rock, metal, fringe, gay and pride festival, Porkalooza, latin, Caribbean, works, taste of Edmonton create jobs in Edmonton by supporting local and say hell no to American ice with Columbia Ice.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday we will keep you stocked, freezers with locks that have multiple keys, direct debit machines, ability to accept e-interact transfer.  When you call 780-960-7161 you get Sandra one of the owners and get to talk to one of the people your investment in our ice helps feed.  I will talk on the phone however my preference is to email, text or tweet as I need a record to refer back to as my short term memory sucks.  

For all your ice needs Columbia Ice Edmonton.

Stay Cool!!!

Graham Iceman
ice is always cool
Sandra: 780-960-716

ice is always cool